


Egoist

by Keisuke_AKM



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fairytales AU, Haitani and Ritsu are sibling, Haitani is the bad guy, M/M, Michel Ocelot AU, Middle Ages, Ritsu is lonely af, Romance, Werewolves, half beta-read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 13:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keisuke_AKM/pseuds/Keisuke_AKM
Summary: Adapted from the Michel Ocelot 'the werewolf'Ritsu has always been in love with Takano Masamune, yet he had to see him taken away by his big brother Haitani. However, Takano disappear in one night and Ritsu find a wolf in the forest he will befriend...Unless.





	Egoist

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I've written one year ago, I barely remember what this fanfic is talking about, so I'm sorry. I post it because I've worked hard on it and I feel like a waste to not publish it.  
I'm sorry but all the errors, english is not my native language.

Ritsu had been twelve when he first met the noble heir of the Takano house. Ritsu have been with his older brother Haitani visiting Takano's family's lands. However, at the time, Ritsu had little interest in a diplomacy visit and just wanted it to end so he could go home. Knowing that the castle had a library, he had snuck off to find books to read. Then, between two rows of stacks, he saw Takano Masamune for the first time.

At first, Ritsu was simply intrigued by the young man. He was curious about the book he was reading. Haitani never liked to read, so Ritsu never had the chance to talk about books or authors with anyone. Perhaps Takano would be willing to discuss them.. However, Ritsu was so shy that he couldn’t imagine starting a conversation with him. So instead he watched him from far away, and slowly, his curiosity turned to obsession.

It started with the occasional glance, spying at him when they were at library, but soon after, he started to follow Takano whenever he did go. Ritsu’s father and Takano's father developed an alliance, and so both he and Haitani were obligated to spend time with their new allies . As a result, Ritsu had been able to learn more about the young Takano. He knew his favorite spot in the forest, read all the books Takano read, and watched how he cared so deeply for animals.

He had so many fantasies about him. Ritsu wished he could just talk to him. They would have sat on the sofa in the parlor and watched the serious face Takano kept when he was captivated in a novel. Maybe even hold his hand discreetly. Once he even dared to imagine how his lips would feel; perhaps warm and soft, though his imagination was based only on books he had read.

So, when Takano was arrested under suspicion for his own father’s murder, Ritsu did as much as he could to help Takano. But, as a result of Ritsu’s actions, when Takano managed to get out of prison, he ran directly to Haitani, thanking him for helping him during the ten long years and kindling a relationship with him. Even though Ritsu was so happy that the one he loved was free again, he couldn't help but think that it was _ so unfair _.

And now, Ritsu was expected to attend their engagement party. He tried to sneak unnoticed in the crowd. Despite the beautiful setting of the ballroom,with its bended pillars and its warm colored tapestry, appealing dishes on the long table, and of course, the joyful smiles of the people gathered in the room, congratulating the fiancés in the center of the crowd, Ritsu was fixated on how the whole situation was just..._ so unfair _.

Ritsu couldn't bring himself to smile, but he managed not to cry either. He followed what the crowd did, clapping his hands and when it became unbearable, he tried to go to the balcony. He had almost made it to the French doors when he bumped into somebody.

“Ah, sorry!” he knew he said it more out of habit than anything else, not that he would admit it. He lifted his head and vaguely recognized the man he had bumped into. Ritsu thought his name was Yokozawa.

“Ah, Haitani’s little brother! Congratulations on his engagement.” He clenched his fist remembering the situation all over again. But Yokozawa kept talking, not noticing Ritsu’s frustration. “You know that Takano owes him a lot. If your brother hadn’t been there, he probably would have died in that cell,” he said pointedly, but Ritsu was too dejected to notice.

“It's like a fairytale, isn't?” said Yokozawa, in a kind of harsh tone, as if to pull a reaction from Ritsu. But Ritsu only clenched his fist even tighter and bit his lip. He had had enough, and turned to him. “Sir, uhm, Yokozawa, I-”

“Look how happy Takano is,” Yokozawa interrupted, gesturing towards the couple with his chin. 

Ritsu felt a lump in his throat when he turned to look at them. The way Takano was looking at Haitani with such care was causing him physical pain. He forced his hand to relax and closed his eyes.

“Yes, he is.”

* * *

Takano Masamune heaved a deep sigh once he had escorted the last guests to their carriages. The only people left in the castle were some of his closest friends, like Yokozawa and his subordinates, and of course Haitani and his little brother. It’s not that Masamune hated people, he just couldn't stand them. Even so, the fact that they had stayed so late was a source of stress for him, especially tonight. He glanced at the rising moon again and clenched his fist against the gold collar under his shirt. It burned. He knew he had to go now or else he was going to-

“Ah, Masamune, I was looking for you,” Haitani’s voice surprised him, not that he showed it. “The guests have taken their leave, we should go back.”

“Mm, go without me, I have things to do...”

“What's wrong? You seem distracted, what's on your mind?”

“It's nothing important, don't worry.” He tried to smile at him gently, but it didn't convince his new fiancé. 

“It's nice to see even if we are going to marry, you can't even trust me Masamune.”

The comment distraught Takano. “It's not that...” but he couldn't tell him. A shadow rose up in his mind taking his mom’s form, and terrified it him.

He remembered the disgusted look his mother gave to his father and the dark and humid cell he stayed in for ten long years. He would never thank Haitani enough for his love for him. He knew he could trust him because, after all, he was the one who faithfully sent him food, clothes and books during that time of his life.

“Masamune, if you can't trust me, then we should just end our engagement.” he started to turn toward the castle, but Takano instantly grabbed Haitani's forearm to stop him. he couldn’t let Haitani go after this, he wouldn’t let their engagement dissolve. 

“Wait, I'll tell you.”

Hiding a small smile, Haitani feigned annoyance. 

“You may not believe me but...My family has always been under a curse, and like my father, I...” Takano looked away again, clearly hesitating, but Haitani wouldn’t have that. 

“You what, have trust issues?”

Takano could feel the light of the moon behind him and the burning of the collar was already hurting him. He painfully exhaled. “The truth is that...When the full moon comes, I transform into a wolf.”

Haitani eyes widened. 

“What?” 

“You heard me. That's the reason behind my father’s death. Now, I should go, I need to be alone when I transform...”

“We can't have that Masamune, it's in these moments that you need to be with somebody you love and who supports you.”

That’s not a good-”

“You already told me. what's be worst that could happen? Don't you trust me? Even though these past years I’ve given you as much as I could so you could survive, or did you already forget?”

Takano surrendered, understanding that Haitani wouldn't let him off. “Fine. Follow me.”

He led him into the forest, to the place where he always went to change into his animal form. They walked in silence, occasionally hearing the hoot of an owl.

They stopped in a clearing against a tiny cliff in the middle of the forest, hidden by a mass of trees and piled rocks. Takano grabbed his collar once again. 

“I need to remove my collar to transform. And when the sun rises, I have to put it back on or I will stay a wolf.” He swallowed painfully, uneasy under Haitani's gaze, then took off the golden necklace. feeling like he could breathe again, he glanced at his lover then hid it quietly in nettles.

Slowly, his hands started to extend into paws, his face melting into a dark muzzle. Finally an enormous black wolf stood in front of Haitani. The man caught his breath when his eyes met with the creature's. The beast, Takano, looked at him for a few seconds and then dashed into the darkness of oak trees.

Haitani stayed here without moving, listening carefully for any sounds, as if he feared that the monstrous wolf, his fiancé, would come back. Then, he sank his hand into the nettle, hissing at the few stings in his fingers, and took the golden collar. He looked back again at the spot where the beast had gone and rushed to the castle. 

* * *

Even though Ritsu was tired, he couldn’t sleep. His room in the castle reminded him of the time when he was chasing Masamune reliving the painful memories was keeping him awake and anxious. Every time closed his eyes, he would see the gentle look in Takano's eyes when he looked at Haitani.

Ritsu sighed. If he wasn't going to sleep tonight, he’d rather do something that could keep him from thinking about his lost love. Lighting a candle, he went to take the book from his bedside table when he heard noise and yells outside. He walked to open the window of his bedroom and was surprised to see Yokozawa and other men from castle, like Kirishima or Hatori, riding horses and holding torches. Ritsu immediately donned his shoes and his cape and ran to the courtyard to determine the cause of the fuss. His labored breathing and the sound of his boots on the cobbled road alerted the riders who stopped talking and turned their attention to the young Onodera.

“Wha-what happened?”

Yokozawa flinched and, like all the men gathered here, looked away. If Ritsu wasn't so tired from the run, he would have noticed how Yokozawa gripped the horse's reins before declaring in a deep voice: “Takano's dead.”

_ Huh? _

“What did you say?” Ritsu asked sharply. How could it be true? How was that possible, how - 

“Haitani was with him in the forest when a beast appeared out of nowhere and… just devoured Takano...” Explained Kirishima, but Ritsu was barely heard him. It was like he was in a trance. He dug his teeth into his lip to hold back his tears.

“My lord, you should go back to your room...” Kisa said, putting his hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. “Haitani is in the castle as well. We are going to search for Takano's body and the beast...”

“Can...can I come with you ?”

“Ri-Ritsu, I don't know if it's a good idea...” Kisa reluctantly looked at Yokozawa, as if waiting for his agreement, but instead, Yokozawa watched the young Onodera. “Let him come Kisa, but be quick.”

He bit his lip and invited Ritsu to climb on his horse with him.

In a few minutes, they were riding in the forest. The men decided to separate in order to broaden the chance of finding the beast that killed Takano. Kisa, seeing Ritsu’s dark circles, understood that he hadn’t slept at all, let him have his horse. “Stay there with my horse, I will go with Yukina. That way if you're too tired, you can go back to the castle, okay?” Ritsu answered with an absent-minded nod. 

Once he was left alone with the mare, Ritsu dismounted it and sat down on a rock . The night was silent and the fire of his torch was barely lighting the darkness around him. But it's not like he cared. Ritsu never thought anything worse could happen after Takano's engagement to Haitani, but there he was, alone in the forest where his long-time love had perished. Ritsu took a deep breath to chase away the urge to sob coming up in his throat.

Maybe it was because he was trying to not cry that he didn’t hear the deep animal growl coming from the trees next to him. The light from his torch had probably attracted a bear, but the animal, seeing the desolated Ritsu looking down, reacted in fear of the unknown and lashed its claws out toward the man with a frightening roar. Ritsu screamed and threw his torch as he protected his face behind his arms. Time seemed to stop, seconds becoming minutes. Kisa's horse had ran away, fleeing the danger as fast as it could. Ritsu could almost see the death coming to claim him.

But before he could be torn into pieces by the bear's claws, a dark shadow jumped on the back of the beast. It growled in pain, its attention on the sting in its back. Ritsu backed off to the nearest tree, grabbing his torch, watching the fight taking place before his eyes.

A majestic black wolf had sunk its teeth into the bear’s neck, and the bear tried to get free by clawing at the dark wolf. Ritsu winced at a pained sound from the wolf. But without giving up, it growled louder and moved to bite the bear again, this time in the jugular.

The bear fought back, grabbing at the black fur of the wolf, beating it, pushing against tree trunk. But the wolf did not release its grip, and slowly, the bear’s movements gradually became weak until finally it fell inert on the ground.

The wolf kept still for a few seconds until it knew the bear was not going to move anymore, then released its hold on the throat. It straightened its body and looked directly at Ritsu who stopped breathing, captivated by the marvelous animal standing in front of him. The black wolf tried to walk toward Ritsu, but it took its first step, it whined in pain, halting.

Ritsu had not noticed wolf's wounds at first, but the noise surprised him. He wondered if he should listen to reason and take advantage that the injured animal wouldn’t be able catch him, or if he should listen to what the illogical voice in his head was telling him, and help the injured creature who had saved him from a certain death. 

It might have seemed silly, but Ritsu had the impression that the wolf really had acted to protect him and felt he should return the favor. He bit his lip, hesitating, then walked slowly to where the wolf was licking the wound on its paw. He decided that he couldn't leave the to suffer animal on its own when it had just helped him. Quietly, Ritsu put his hand on the wolf’s fur.

“It's going to be okay. I'll help you.” the wolf blinked, as if it understood what he had just said.

“Here, don't move.” 

He took a stiff branch and put it against the wounded leg, then tore part of his shirt off before twisting the strips around it. “I'll take you to the castle, you need to be healed.”

He turned his eyes to the other side of the trees, wondering about Takano. What if it was the bear that killed him? Or...he hazarded a glance to the lame wolf. Its eyes were full of intelligence. Ritsu's gut told him that the animal had nothing to do with any murder, aside from the bear’s. He tried to pat its head, but the wolf growled. Surprised, but not alarmed, Ritsu put his hand down. “Can you follow me? I won't hurt you, promise...”

What surprised Ritsu the most was that the wolf glared at him for a few seconds before nodding and taking the lead. Ritsu knew the forest by heart thanks to the numerous times he followed Takano in his younger days, so even in the darkness of night, he knew which path to take. However, how could a wolf have known the road leading to the castle? How was it familiar with it? The thought stayed in his head during the whole walk back, before remembering another problem. How would he get the wolf to his room, and how was he going to enter the castle unnoticed?

To Ritsu’s relief, it was early enough that not even the kitchen servants had risen to work- only the guards were awake and about. And since a fair number of them were out looking for Takano, there were enough gaps in security for someone who new that palace to slip in unnoticed with an injured wild animal. Progressing quietly through the halls Ritsu and the wolf made it to the staircase leading to his room.

Ritsu had been afraid that the wolf would have trouble with the stairs because of its injured paw. For once he appreciated that the Takano lands did not have any fortified castles anymore. The way things used to be, the animal wouldn’t have been able to climb spiral stairs. 

“My room is at the third floor, will you be able to make it alright?” he asked gently before inwardly chastising his own foolishness. How could the wolf answer or even understand him? He didn’t notice the amused look in the amber eyes of the big animal beside him.

Once they reached the third floor, Ritsu took the lead towards the door to his room. But when he turned around, he saw the wolf walking towards the door on the other side of the corridor- the door to Haitani's room.

“No, no you can't!!” he rushed to the wolf and encircled its chest with his arms, almost lifting the animal off the ground. “If Haitani sees you, he will probably kill you,” he whispered quickly, ignoring the wolf's low growl. “I don't want that, just follow me!” 

But the animal continued to try to break free, Ritsu decided to just haul it to his room rather than reason with it. He was out of breath once he managed to close the door to his bedroom, ignoring the wolf’s disapproving eyes.

“Looking at me like that is useless.” Ritsu informe the wolf.

The animal threw an expression of annoyance at Ritsu before hopping weakly onto his bed, taking up all the space. Ritsu started to wonder why he had pitied the wolf in the first place. He stood up, taking a closer look at the wound on his guest. Ritsu wasn't a professional when it came to animals, but he could tell that the wound was deep, but he guessed that the wolf would be able to frisk in the forest and play hero again in a few weeks. Ritsu touched his own scar on his left leg. In a way, the wound that used to be there reminded him of the one on the wolf's paw.

He sighed, shaking his head to chase away the memories and turned his attention to the wolf.

“I'm going to get you some water,alcohol and sewing supplies to take care of your wound. Don't move until I come back, okay?” with that, Ritsu walked out of the room. 

* * *

Takano whined after trying to roll over on Ritsu's bed. It was just _ great. _Out of all the people, he had to end up on Haitani's brother. Haitani himself must have been terrified to see Takano turn into a beast. After all, he’d been nowhere to be found when Takano had gone back to look for him.

Shit. Takano rubbed his muzzle against Ritsu’s pillow, the stale scent of salt making him wince.

It was tough to accept that when his own fiance ran from him. He expected Ritsu that he would have left him in the woods. Well, he was grateful that he hadn’t, but when he heard Ritsu's scream earlier in the forest he wouldn’t have guessed as much. At first, he just wanted to check to see if his collar was still in the same place, but when he heard the cry with his sharp ears, he ran out of instinct to save the poor boy.

But, because Ritsu decided to save him, Takano had planned to go see Haitani, the only one who knew about his situation. But damn the younger Onodera, he had more muscles than Takano would have thought.

He noticed something else when they arrived at the castle. The place felt very _ empty. _Despite the fact that it was his first time here in this form since his father’s assassination, Takano could tell something was off, besides, but he couldn’t put his finger on what.

In the aim to resist to temptation of licking his wounds, Takano rolled over on the bed onto his back. From there, he could see every book that Ritsu had brought with him for his stay. It made him think about his own books in his bedroom, and the time when Haitani would send him some of his favorites when he was still in that cell. It surprised him that this person with whom he had barely talked to knew his favorite genre. When Takano found out that Haitani was the one behind the gifts, he always thought they would have talked a lot about their personal favorite authors or novels, but in the end Haitani hadn’t been an avid reader. Even though Takano didn't want to acknowledge it, he was kind of disappointed.

Actually, despites all of Takano's yearning, their relationship was rather dull. During those ten years, Takano used to think that Haitani was really passionate about him. After all, he faithfully sent him materials to survive against the cold of winter and the heat of summer, the humidity of spring and the winds of fall. But truthfully, Takano felt like Haitani did not really care about him.

It must have been only an impression. Takano initially labelled Haitaini as simply shy, but lately a voice inside that Takano always tried to suppress was telling him that Haitani did not really love him. But it felt wrong to think that. He had always been loyal to him when he had nothing to give in return, and Takano had at least return that loyalty.

He lost his train of thought when his ears caught the sound of footsteps coming from the other side of Ritsu's wall. He straightened himself up on the bed, ears perked up only to lower once he saw Ritsu open the door with his elbow, arms occupied with a leather pouch, a wooden bucket filled of water and bottle that, judging by the smell, contained alcohol. “He-hey! I'm back, Wolf.”

If Takano had not have been engaged to the boy’s brother, he may have found his shaky voice cute, though he didn't enjoy being called ‘Wolf'. But Takano could hardly tell him “By the way it’s me, your future brother in law”. 

Ritsu put the bucket next to the bed and opened the glass bottle. Takano had already thought this earlier in the forest when he attached the rather useless splint, but from the way Ritsu was shaking when he approached the cotton fabrics soaked with disinfectant, it was obvious that he was really bad with animals. If Takano weren't a man in the first place, his instinct would have been him to attack him.

“Do-don't bite okay? I'm doing this for you.”

Taking the water soaked rag, Ritsu cleaned away the blood that was beginning to mat Takano’s fur. Then, Ritsu took the alcohol soaked rag and disinfected the deep cut, shakily, but Takano could tell the boy was at least trying to be gentle. He yipped involuntarily when the alcohol burned a little too deep into his wound. Ritsu jumped, sending the rag a few feet across the room. Calming himself, Ritsu took the leather pouch and opened it to reveal a field-medic’s suture kit. Taking the needle and thread, Ritsu carefully, with hands less shaky than before, made three uneven, but durable stitches. Takano moved his paw experimentally, grudgingly impressed with the work. Ritsu watched apprehensively. Yup, this boy was definitely not comfortable with animals for damn sure. Takano nudged the roll of bandage next to him on the bed.

“Let it get some air this evening and tomorrow I’ll bandage it.” Ritsu told him, then caught himself. “Not like you can understand me but whatever…”

Takano made himself comfortable again on the bed, waiting for Ritsu to shoo him out. But all the man was doing was biting his lip, as if he was having a battle inside him. _ Okay _ , for this one, Takano found it a little funny that he wasn't even able to tell to a weak animal that he lifted up earlier with his arm to get out of his bed. Takano was going to move out by himself when Ritsu lifted his hand and put it on his fur. _ Oh? _ Well, he didn't expect that.

In this boost of confidence, Ritsu started to stroke the noble animal. Takano didn't know how to react, mainly because it was the first time anyone had touched him in a way that was… well,affectionate. Takano was well read, but at that moment he realized he never truly had any physical affection in his life until now. “You're so soft...” said Ritsu before rubbing his face against Takano's fluffy fur, humming “and so nice...”

_ Oh fuck, _ Takano shouldn't let him do it, this was way beyond his boundaries, he should do something to get him out, but something in him refused to disturb the man. 

Well, after all, Ritsu had gathered all of his courage to just try to roll cotton around his paw, so Takano could spare him this time, and _ damn _, the way he scratched the right place with his fingers felt too good to stop. Takano would let it pass only this time. He had a way more important problem here. How was he going to go back in the forest to take back his collar?

He could stay in his wolf form, but people would worry if they don't see him in the morning. Maybe Ritsu would take him out tomorrow. Though the man seemed really stubborn. He could hardly blame Ritsu, though-after all, if he stayed in the forest, it would have ended badly for him, he was way too weak and he knew that they were many other beasts that would have been ready to attack him. Staying here meant staying alive, and staying alive meant seeing Haitani again.

At this moment, Ritsu straightened up and smiled sadly at him. He stroked his ear “We should sleep; it's pretty late” he looked out the window “I hope the others have found him...”

_ The others? Was does it mean? _ Damn, he hated being a wolf so much, he couldn't even communicate effectively. Even if Takano would have tried to make a move to have Ritsu's attention, the man wouldn't understand. Maybe he would tell him more later when they woke up.

Sighing, he rolled over his stomach. This time, he should really let Ritsu have his bed, even if sleeping on the ground didn't appealed him.

Ritsu stroked his head one more time -geez, Takano shouldn't let him do it, and then, took his pillow and his blanket to put them on the ground, next to the bed. He stretched and laid down here. His back was going to hurt tomorrow, but to Takano's surprise, it looked like Ritsu wouldn't even care about it. He just smiled to him and blown the candlestick on the nightstand before whispering sweetly.

“Good night, Wolf.”

Takano closed his eyes, remembering he had to find his collar as soon as possible before the worst happened.

* * *

When Ritsu opened his eyes, he felt three things, first, his back was hurting like hell, second, something humid was pulling his hand and third, he had a big, black and fluffy wolf on him.

He would have screamed in surprise if the wolf hadn't put a paw the size of half of Ritsu's head, on his mouth. It looked at the door and Ritsu's eyes followed. A lot of agitation could be sensed from the other side of the wall. From the erects ears the animal, it looked like it was coming closer. Quickly Ritsu stood up and hid the wolf awkwardly under his blanket. In a few seconds, his door was wide open by a breathless, sweaty, dark circle eyes and red-headed Kisa “Jesus! Ritsu, you're here!!”

“Ki-Kisa...what are you doing here?” judging from the light of the sun airing in his bedroom, it must have been around breakfast. “What _ I _ am doing here? What are _ you _ doing here Ritsu!” he scolded him, shaking him by the shoulder “I was so worried, do you imagine how I felt when I came to get you back, there was blood and the body of a bear on ground! I imagined the worst had happened!” 

_ Oh no, _ in his rush to help his new pet, Ritsu had forgotten to alert the others he was leaving. He felt so guilty “I'm sorry! I should have stay there...”

Kisa deflated at the apology. “No, it's not that, I'd left you with the horse in the case you wanted to go back after all...”

“I-I know, but I wanted to help you in the first place, but I've been really useless, I'm sorry.” He hung his head, ashamed of himself.

Kisa sighed, there were no way he could hold it against him “No Ritsu, it's understandable that you wanted to help to find him...” He patted his head. Kisa wasn't blind and he knew very well what were Ritsu's feeling toward Takano, that's why he didn't wanted him to go with them last night. the situation was like some he read in Greek tragedy. “It's just... We already lost Takano, it would have been too dreadful to have two death in one night. Imagine how Haitani would have been...”

_Ah!_ _As if he would have cared._ Thought bitterly Ritsu. His relationship with his brother wasn't the best. As they grew up, Ritsu started to notice that Haitani is the kind of person who see other as tools, and Ritsu had been quickly labelled as useless one. He was somebody who was always 'losing things', but only Ritsu knew the truth. Though... as he remembered Takano’s death, he now understood that all he had done all these years had been indeed meaningless. _Maybe they were all right after all..._

Ritsu shook his head, chasing away bad thoughts. He looked at Kisa again, the dark circle under his eyes showed that he hasn’t sleep a bit last night. The other must have been in the same case. “A-anyway...Have you find him ?”  
Kisa shook his head negatively “Yokozawa is still in the forest with Kirishima. He proposed to do groups that would relays.” He yawned and rubbed his eye with the palm of the hand “Me and Yukina will do tonight’s search, do you want to go with us tonight or…”

When Ritsu asked last night to take a part in research, he asked them because of emotion, because he couldn't believe that Takano was dead, even now...But, his mind swept on the thought of the wolf hidden behind his back in his blanket. He couldn't leave it, though the unfairness of being prevented from helping with the search stung.

“I-, I guess I'll stay here...I have things I have to care for...” he said in a small voice. It felt strange for Ritsu, not putting Takano on his top priority, but that's when he remembered that's probably because he never had responsibility for anything, because people didn't trust him, because he didn't trust himself.

“You have big bags under your eyes, you should really eat and sleep, I'm sorry I worried you too...” Kisa patted Ritsu on his head “It's okay Ricchan, at the end, you are alright. Take care of you too okay?”

Once they parted, Ritsu removed the blanket from the wolf. He was going to tell him to wait for him while he was getting breakfast, but his voice was struck once he saw the wolf expression, it looked at him a moment before turning its eyes away. Ritsu have never been good with animals, because of the accident he’d had ten years prior. He kind of avoided to be close to them. This wolf has been the first exception in all those years. However, he was sure that the aura of incomprehension coming the wolf's expression was not something that a simple animal would do. For a few seconds, he almost believed that it was a man's eyes looking at him.

He shook his head. What, a wolf being man? _ Ah! _He could almost hear Haitani's sardonic voice telling him he read too much. He looked at the wolf again, but it turned his snout away. Ritsu’s gut were telling him that it was avoiding his gaze, but, isn't that something that human do? No, he had to get this idea out of his head, it was probably because of all bad news that happened lately, and he was putting human emotion on animal’s. Between Takano's betrothal and then his death, he was too tired by everything that now he was imagining things. He had to think about something else, otherwise, he was going to turn crazy.

“I'm going to get food for both of us. Just wait here quietly okay, I will be back soon” he smiled and patted its head, taking advantage of the wolf being zoned out, probably because it was morning and Kisa sudden appearance startled it. Ritsu almost wanted to laugh at himself, was he really comforting an animal because of an expression he probably imagined out of tiredness?

Having these thoughts, he locked his door behind him once he was out. He couldn't have the risk of somebody entering his room while he was out. He should draw water from the well too. 

Placing the key in his pocket, Ritsu found a short, thick necklace in it. He took out the golden jeweled chain from his pocket. he totally has forgotten about it. He should ask around about his owner since he never saw some 

body wear it. He could cross out people he already knew like Haitani. Judging by what his brother always wore, he would never own something like this. Even though it was golden, the workmanship was really poor, and it looked old. Ritsu knew Haitani always values the appearance first. However, Ritsu supposed that it must be something precious to somebody. Maybe one of the maids of the castle would be the owner. Well, since he was going to the kitchen to get ham, it was the best place to ask about the necklace.

However, after asking all the people in the cook's room, Ritsu must face the fact that the owner couldn't be found. He put the necklace in his pocket, hoping that he won't forget about it once again and that he would find his owner. He asked for the finest piece of meat. “I-is it okay if I eat it in my room” he sputtered and averted his eyes, trying to find an excuse, as if he had to justify himself “I'm still a kind of tired because of what happened tonight, so I wondered if I could...”

The cook smiled at him, sympathetically, not questioning him. “Don't worry my lord, let us clean it for you in your room once you've finished.” She bowed making Ritsu feel awkward.

“No you don't have to it's okay!” 

As if he could let people in his room with a big sized wolf in.

Before handing back to his room, he grabbed more bandages- he had a couple shallow cuts of his own to tend to. He remembered the time when he himself was hurt;the maids had always changed his bandages. Yet, he didn’t knew a lot about animals but he guessed that they more or less worked like humans do, and maybe thank to that, the wolf would heal more earlier. Frankly speaking, he was still surprised by the wolf behavior. He always thought that they were dangerous animals however, this one was kind, intelligent, patient and sweet. Ritsu already knew that it wouldn't hurt a fly, it almost felt like it wasn't really an animal. His mind flashed back to the expression it was having earlier. No, that's couldn't be possible, he was just having too much imagination.

He opened the door of his room and saw his new friend looking at the window. If Ritsu had to put an emotion to the image he was seeing, it would be lonely. He quietly closed to door to not startle the animal and gently walk beside him “Hey...I'm back, I took ham, I hope you will like it”

The wolf looked at Ritsu and walked toward the carpet, having a seat. Ritsu followed and sat in front of it. He cut a big part and gave it to the wolf.

“Hey, I was wondering, it's kind of sad that I call you 'wolf', what if I found you a name?” 

The wolf blinked and bend it head, intrigued “Soo... I thought about Saga? Isn't good? It's the name of a character in a book I read when I was younger!”

Well, actually, it was a book that he first saw Takano read when he was younger. And it was probably because of his crushed heart, so he read that damn book. Thinking about it now, he was probably just trying to get close to Takano's by trying to know what was his favorite genre, but he was too shy to approach and instead he did it. _ Wow _, it was really embarrassing thinking about it now. But now at least, thank to that, he opened novels that he would have never read if he was not for Takano.

The wolf now known as Saga glared at him. “What, if you have better, you can tell me” added Ritsu, somewhat proudly because he knew that Saga couldn't tell him anything back. The wolf rolled his eyes and started to eat his piece of ham, chewing it gracefully. Ritsu cut a smaller size for himself, not feeling as hungry. 

Once they finished, Ritsu began to bandage Saga. It was easier than his work last night where his only light was from the candlestick. His movement around the injured paw were less shaky, Ritsu proudly noticed. Saga looked at his wrapped paw with a sardonic look that kind of made Ritsu annoyed, before he remembered that ‘sardonic’ was hardly an emotion wolves expressed. He bit his lips furiously, throwing a glare to Saga before taking the book he was reading and positioned himself again his bed.

Saga climbed on the bed and laid himself behind Ritsu. Sometime, he would bump his muzzle again Ritsu’s elbow, at first, he has thought it was because he wanted attention. He started to pet him, but Saga would push his hand away. It did upset Ritsu. The understood only the third time Saga has done bumps that the wolf was bored. He probably wanted to go out, but now was way too dangerous, there were people outside and such a gigantic animal as Saga would do nothing but scare them. 

Ritsu sighed and turned to Saga “Can't you be nice and just take a nap or something?”. The wolf looked at him before puffing imperiously from his muzzle. He turned his back to Ritsu, and that made him felt guilty. He tried to get into his book again, but the breath behind him made him aware of Saga's presence.

Ritsu looked at the written words, he thought of something. No...such a thing was too embarrassing. After all, the wolf couldn’t understand human speech. He looked at Saga again. He was weak to the miserable boredom in the wolf’s expression. He took a deep breath and started to read aloud his book. He felt Saga getting up behind him but he hasn’t dared to take a look. His face was way too red, yet he continued to read, even when he felt Saga head on his shoulder. He stopped to read to turn his face toward his muzzle. It was as if he was smiling at him, and that made him blush even more.

He took his book in hand again, continuing his reading, feeling the fluffy head of Saga against his neck. Ritsu absently thought that he wouldn't mind if this kind of moment would have continued forever. Without thinking, he put his hand to caress Saga's chest and only stopped when he heard a deep guttural sound. He turned his head to look at a pleased Saga. His eyes were closed and his tail was slightly wagging, he was totally enjoying the moment and that made Ritsu smile. It felt weird, when was the last time he did?

Saga who had finally noticed Ritsu's silence opened his eyes in surprise, straightened himself and watched Ritsu’s gentle smile. “You know, sometimes...I wonder if you're really a wolf...”

After that, Saga became completely quiet until dusk.

* * *

The moon was already high in the starry sky when Ritsu had changed Takano's bandage once more before they left. Takano was impressed that Ritsu had become so comfortable in his presence after a measly twenty-four hours, especially considering the kid’s obvious anxiety around animals.

He had been surprised to take such a liking to the young Onodera, he was really a cute kid- awkward, but cute. Takano promised himself to speak to him more often once he was human again. He really had enjoyed Ritsu’s company. Having somebody who took care of him was something new. Well, Haitani had taken care of him during his time when he was under arrest, but it was in a different way, and it _ felt _ different.

It wasn’t like nobody had ever taken cared of him. Well, just not this way. Yokozawa did take care of him- after all, it was thanks to him that he managed to get out of that cold and damp dungeon. But it was the first time somebody had taken the time to tend to his injuries, or to read him aloud a book simply to alleviate his boredom. It was...touching? Just, how could Takano not be fond of him? He just hoped Ritsu wouldn't miss his wolf form. Really, that guy hadn't any sense of self preservation, keeping a wolf in his room and giving him a name. It was as if no one had warned him against getting attached to a wild animal. Though Takano would have to be more careful, he had not forgotten what Ritsu had said earlier in the day. The kid was already suspicious.

Anyway, all of this would be over tonight. Ritsu was going to go with him in the forest, and he would find his collar. Then, he just had to wait for Ritsu to wander away and _ poof! _ He would go pick up his collar, wear it, and became human again. He would have to fix the misunderstanding about his supposed death. He mentally sighed. It wasn’t unlike when his mother killed his father out of fear, and then let Takano take the fall for it.

The difference was that instead nobody had been murdered. Still, he wondered how it had come to this. Haitani couldn't be behind this, even if he was the only one who knew about the curse, it didn’t made sense. He wouldn't have spent ten years of his life to support him just to pass him off as dead because he saw him in this condition. Haitani’s love was stronger than that… surely.

He stopped thinking about it when Ritsu called for him, a torch in hand. “Be quiet, okay?” he said softly. Takano limped quickly to him, eager to be human again.

Tonight, the castle was quiet.Takano could hear people sleep soundly in their rooms with his heightened wolf senses. Thanks to this negligence of his guard, it was easy enough for him to sneak out. However, Takano noted with disgust, it did little to prevent danger from entering is castle. It was yet another problem to handle once he was back.. 

Ritsu opened slowly the door to avoid make it squeak in the hall. A little noise would transform into an echo that would resonate loudly in the castle. Takano passed immediately through the partially opened door, followed by Ritsu who closed it behind him.

“Kisa and Yukina must be already in forest- let's try to not meet them okay?” he whispered, his finger on his lips in a way Takano found oddly cute. Anyway, now he had to find a way to separate from Ritsu and get his collar back. It was a simple plan. However, he couldn't help but feel uneasy. After all, He had saved Ritsu from a bear the last time the kid had entered the forest.

And, what if Ritsu get worried? This kid seemed to be pretty straightforward and had clearly developed an attachment to the wolf. He was worried that the young man would search the whole forest the moment he disappeared. However, he did not have the luxury to be distracted by his own thoughtlessness. He was behind the leading Ritsu, moving apart gradually until he could only see the light of torch far from.

He hurried to the usual place where he left his collar, trying to sniff out of the clearing. Moving too fast, his felt a pain coming from his injured paw, probably because he had exerted the muscle. Annoyed, he continued to dash to the area, ignoring the fact that Ritsu’s bandage had made him earlier was already torn.

He arrived, panting, and went directly to the nettle bushes. He put his paw in, searching for the golden jewelry. He brushed the leaves, parting it, but he couldn't even find a golden sparkle. Becoming anxious he started to tear off the plant out of the ground. But he still couldn't find it, so he started to dig, and when the golden brightness couldn't be found, he dug again, looking around. His movement were a wild and erratic, like his mind. He couldn't think, he was just acting on instinct. He _ had to _ find his collar. He _ couldn't _stay in this form, that was impossible, he had to find it- he HAD to…!

His breath was stuck in his throat and his mind was spinning, his whole body was shaking. Understanding dawned that the collar wasn’t here anymore and that he was going to stay in this body.

“Saga!!”

Takano just had the time to turn his head toward the high-pitched voice that he saw two arms suddenly wrapping his nape and a head rubbing him. Takano was so shocked to understand what was happening, he just lost his only chance to be human again and now somebody was hugging him hard. He took for him a few seconds to recognize Ritsu's scent. _ Ah, yes _...he thought bitterly. 

He turned his attention on Ritsu, he could feel his tears wetting his fur and hear him sometime saying, between two hiccups, some words like “You are here”, “I was so worried” or “I can't lose you too”. But Takano did not care of Ritsu’s state, because right now, he had lost everything and he didn't know how he was going to live. It was kind of ironic, even if he hasn’t been killed like how the whole people living in this land thought, he felt like he died. After all, he was never going to regain his real form.

He absently noticed that Ritsu stopped crying and was now stroking his head. “Hey, you wound opened again...Let head in the castle okay? I'm going to treat it right away, right?” With that, he stood up. Takano noticed that the torch he took was lying on the green ground.Ritsu had been so worried that when he saw him in the clearing, he threw all his common sense and the torch into the grass to hug him powerfully. Damn, this kid was stupid _ and _ oblivious.

Still, he followed Ritsu to the castle. This time, Ritsu was staying just next to him, looking more at him than the road taking them back. But Takano was too overwhelmed with his own emotions to really care about what was happening around him. When they arrived in the front of the door of the castle, he let Ritsu clean dirt from his paws without resistance before going in. He hadn't noticed even when Ritsu conducted him in the opposite location of his bedroom. His sense came back from tingling pain coming from the opened wound that Ritsu was treating. He recognized the infirmary which was darker than the habit. Ritsu stitched it back shit, and wrapped another cloth around it. Takano wondered if the maids of the castle were going to notice that the bandages were disappearing.

Ritsu looked at him, caressing with his thumb the space under his eye. He smiled sadly at Takano. Damn, the kid really cared about his welfare. At least Takano could do that much for someone. At least someone loved and needed him in this miserable form.That maybe why, when they were both lying on the bed, with a snoring Ritsu next to him, Takano thought that even if he was going to stay as a wolf for the rest of his life, at least he was going to be with Ritsu. At least, he wasn't alone.

* * *

Time flew for Ritsu since that night he almost lost Saga in the forest. In the days following, Saga behaved oddly. It was as though he was isolating himself. He didn't ignore Ritsu, but he was mentally absent, spaced out. Ritsu felt really bad about it, maybe he really wanted to go back to where he came from and that he hated being confined in a room. Yet when they were out walking during the night, Saga wasn't leaving his side neither.

Ritsu wasn’t able to understand and that worried him. He had grown oddly close to the wolf who saved him. Maybe it was because he had not had such a friendly presence close to him in years. 

But, Ritsu did not give up and tried to improve the mood of his new friend. He noticed that he had always Saga’s attention when he was reading aloud. Ritsu had been initially embarrassed of doing it, but with the habit of doing it again and again, he became accustomed.

Since that night in the woods, Saga would stay closer to him. They would sleep together in the same bed. At first, Ritsu was worried that they wouldn't have enough room, or that he would hurt his injured paw, yet they found good positions to sleep in. Yet lately, Ritsu found himself most of the time waking up, cuddled around Saga's furry body. They would even bathe together now. It made Ritsu laugh, remembering how Saga seemed so uncomfortable, looking at everything but Ritsu. Initially, he has been concerned that the wolf would hate water, but he couldn't keep a dirty animal in the castle- the smell would be too noticeable. 

Ritsu loved those shared moments with him. And you know, he was so intelligent! Saga really acted human, sometimes. For example, when something didn't please him, and _ lord _ it happened often, he would show it with a dramatic huff or sitting with his back to it. If he was bored, he would bother Ritsu until he was entertained. He was annoying, but he was amazing. It was like he had a real friend. Sometimes, he could almost forget his broken heart in Saga's presence. Yet, it couldn't fill the gaping hole left by aTakano’s death.

Ritsu looked sadly at the morning light. He stroked absently the dozing wolf's fur. It had been two weeks since Takano's disappearance. Even if Saga's companionship had kept him from completely falling apart,waking up every morning knowing that Takano was no longer in this world broke his heart. He hasn’t cried once since the wolf was sharing his daily life. Crying over a man who had barely paid him any attention seemed a little too pathetic, but he still felt perilously close to tears everytime he remembered Takano’s death. Scrubbing a hand across his face, he banished the tears once more- there was no need to worry Saga.

He scratched Saga’s ear one last time before heading toward the kitchen to get his friend's breakfast. He had learned that Saga preferred more red meat than white meat. Each time he would get him a piece of grilled beef, Saga would always have his tail wagging. It made him laugh. He was going to ask to had some pepper on the steak too, perhaps it would be a good surprise. Happy with the idea, Ritsu walked down the long hallway. 

“It has been two weeks, I can't wait any longer!” Haitani groaning voice stopped Ritsu in his track. “At this point his body must be already rotting away, feeding the worms. As his fiancé, his holdings are mine and I have the right to do whatever I want with them!”

“What did you just say you fuc-”

Ritsu shouldn't stay here, he really shouldn't hide behind a wall and he surely shouldn't listen this. But here he was listening Haitani fighting against Yokozawa, the latter trying to hold back his fist.

“How can you fucking say that?! I thought you loved him!?! He trusted you!!!” roared Yokozawa, feeling betrayed by Haitani's action, starting to understand what was behind that man mind since the beginning.

“Don't make me laugh- between you and me, who was the one who gave him what he needed all these years? Know your place!”

Ritsu bit his cheek, holding himself. _ It was me! _He wanted to scream, to shake his brother. But who would even listen to the little man-child who wanted eerily quiet from the shadows..

“I’m going to sell the belongings and likely auction off the estate. I have work to do. Get out of my way.” Haitani sneered coldly. Ritsu recognised the ugly streak his brother showed only when he was unlikely to be caught.

“Stop acting all mighty, you have nothing here.” Yokozawa yanked Haitani back by the collar “I wonder if what you said about him being killed by an animal is even true..., How am I to know that you are not the one that killed him?”

“Say that again.” Haitani hissed, eyes narrowing. 

Ritsu was almost sure they were going to come to blows. He didn't know if he should run to get some help, or try to stop them by himself. But before he could react, he saw somebody running and placing himself between them. It was Kirishima. He was followed by Hatori. Each took hold of a man, tearing them apart. Ritsu felt useless, but it was nothing new. They were still screaming at each other as he ran back to his room. He had heard too much.

He slammed the door and kneeled down against it. Saga was already up, and walking toward Ritsu, wagging his tail. Ritsu looked at him and his irises of amber and honey. For a second, looking those happy eyes, a face flashed in front of Ritsu eyes. He saw Takano smiling at him, no not at him, he remembered this smile, it was the same smile Takano had the night his engagement had been announced. A face, a person, a love, that Ritsu would never get to see again. It was too much, and even in front of Saga, Ritsu couldn't hold it back.

He cried, he cried hard, soundly. He let it all out: all of his sorrow, his anger, his regrets and his grief. It was too much for his whole being. He was crying for all the lost opportunities to talk to Takano because he never had the courage. For all the time he could have told him that he was the one behind the presents sent to the prison. For all the passion he kept in his heart for years that hadn’t been shared. He wrapped his arms around Saga's body and buried his face in the fur of his shoulders, full body sobs wracking through both of them. Ritsu felt Saga rub his nose in Ritsu’s hair, trying to comfort him, Ritsu grasped harder the wolf's dark coat.

“Yo-you know, even if he wasn't mine, I always thought that watching him be happy was enough for me, but now I-” he sobbed “I regret it so much! I should have tried to tell him that Haitani never looked at him, that he was just serving his own interests but now it's too late and I'm-” he wept harder, he was starting to choke and he couldn't find a way to take a breath, he was a complete mess.

Saga came to get anxious too, he tried to calm the man, rubbing the muzzle against Ritsu's cheeks, drying up his tears. Once Ritsu breath was back to normal and his body stopped shaking, he put his nose on his forehead. “I just wished to be with him” he said with an empty voice. “It's really unfair...If only I had told him...”

“If only I had told him I loved him…”

* * *

Takano stilled at the confession. He was… well, surprised, to say to the least. But… was that…? Takano felt something flutter in his chest. Perhaps… Takano didn't know how or when… but he had fallen in love with Ritsu. He felt a sudden need to be as close to him as much as possible. Sometimes, he wondered what would happen if they had known each other before all this mess happened. Takano regretted to not have taken the time to talk with him. They would have shared more intense moment than what they were having right now. After all, he was a wolf, and Ritsu surely wouldn’t be able to fall in love with an animal. 

Takano could imagine it. Instead of just listening to him lecture, they would simply read it together. In winter, sitting warmly against each other in the front of the fireplace. Their shoulders would brush, and Masamune would have looked at him, his emerald eyes sparkling at his book. He would run his fingers in his brown hair. Then Ritsu would gromble cutely because he had distracted him, like he does when Takano rubbed his paw against his rib.

When they would take a bath, instead of trying to distract himself from Ritsu’s nudity, he would have just flirted with him. Maybe asked him where he did got the scar on his leg. He would have caressed it, kiss the spot on his nape that was always teasing him.. He could even have taken him there, right in front of the glass. And once they would have done it, they would have left in their bed. He would have rolled his arms around Ritsu or spooning him.

But he was a wolf. He would never be able to touch Ritsu skin with his fingertips, he would never have the chance to talk to him, whispering sweet words in his ear, he would never share as much as he wanted of his affection. These thoughts made him stay awake at night, looking at Ritsu sleeping body. He would roll against him, hiding his long muzzle in his neck, cursing his condition of being in this animal body. All the affections he could give was some rubs and some lick. Cursing this body because Ritsu would never ever be his. Sometime, he would even wonder if he could stay with him even under this form. Or, if he was going to watch Ritsu doing his life with someone else. It was tearing him apart

However, when Ritsu confessed to him, he should have felt happy. Ritsu loved him too, wasn't it wonderful? But he felt like crying. It was like in a tragedy, they both love each other but they couldn't consume it. Takano wanted to tell him _ Me too, me too I love you so much. _ But he stood next to him, rubbing his muzzle against his arm. Ritsu smiled sadly and petted his head absently.

_ Hey! Look at me, I'm right here! _

_ Please...Ritsu _  


They moved to the bed, Ritsu had put his head on Takano. He wished he could wrap his arms around and hug him hard. He wanted to ask him so many things, why do you love me? Since when? Why haven't you told me before? We wouldn't be in this situation if you told me. He was frustrated, how many times did they lose because of this.

He thought about Haitani, Ritsu's words coming back again in mind... Haitani was just having his own interest. But it didn't make any sense to him, why would he spend all these years helping him if he was only having his interest. It seemed too far tricked, and it was coming from a man who could change into wolf when full moon rise. But, in other way...Haitani hadn't been interested in him at least once. Ritsu’s statement made him ponder about the oldest Onodera brother. Haitani knew that he was a wolf, he must be the one behind the falsehood of his death. Maybe he was the one who even took his golden collar away. But... what about the last ten years? If it wasn't Haitani, who it was? Takano have been sure it was him because of the signature embroidered on the clothes he received.

“I was 13 when I fell in love with him”

Ritsu got all Takano's intention with his voice used from the weeps. His eyes were all red and his face still wet. He sniffed before continuing “You know, he was so cool” _ I'm not _“and he was so nice, but people never noticed this, you should have saw him with animals, he would probably have taken care of you better than I do. You know, once I saw him rescuing a kitten during a storm. It was so wet but he took it in his coat to keep it warm, that was so awesome.”

_ Oh man _ , Takano remembered that day He have been arrested a few months after he adopted it, so his mother gave it away. He learned once he was out of the dungeon that Yokozawa was the new owner. But _ damn _, it was so embarrassing that Ritsu saw him that day, was he a fucking stalker?

“I wish I wasn't shy and I could have told him...I mean, maybe I could have prevented this mess to happen and he would be still alive...” And there he was, putting all the guilt on him when he was innocent. Takano wanted to tell him how stupid he was to have those thoughts. Sure, if he had been less shy, they could have made up for lost time, but he was unable to do anything about his condition. Not that he knew it.

“Hey...Can I share with you a secret I had for ten years?” he waited a moment, as if he waited for Takano to answer before the remembered that he was an animal, and animal don’t talk “Pfff, I'm stupid, it's not like you can repeat it to somebody...” fake laugh “ You see, Takano have been arrested for a crime he haven't done. I was so worried of how he would be treated there that I... It's stupid, but I started sending stuff to him” Takano raised his head quickly, his eyes wide open from the revelation, _ no way... _

“At first, I wanted to give him directly, you know, I had gathered all my courage to do it, but the first day, when I approached the prison, I've been attacked by the watchdogs, they jumped on me by surprise and bitten me hard on my leg. After that, I've been bedridden for two weeks” It explained the scar on his leg “But, I knew that Takano were in a worst situation than I was. But I was so scared of what happened that I paid somebody to go there for me. I would give him my warmer clothes or my blanket, if it was unwearable for him, I would sell them and earn money from it, I would send him the best books I had in my own library. Even if my parents were scolding me, telling me I was useless and that I should take an example on Haitani, they would always buy me news high quality clothes and let me have a bit money. As their heir, I had to keep the best image...”

It was like an epiphany, like all the pieces of the puzzle started to fit. Of course, it would be so Ritsu to do something like that, generous, adorable, _ lovable _ Ritsu. He helped him as a wolf in the forest and keep him hidden in his room until he would heal, it was obvious that he was the one who helped him during the years he spent in prison. As if it was destiny that Ritsu to always help Takano when he was in his most vulnerable moments.

“I didn't care about what people were saying behind my back, for me all that mattered was him staying alive. I would have done it all my life if needed you know.” He kept silent, biting his lips “One day, my brother was tired of his coats and decided to threw them away, but I knew they would be so useful and, you know, they were in such good condition that I took them and send them to him, but I forgotten that my brother always asked his assigned tailor to sew his name on his finest clothes...Takano must have saw it, and that's probably why he thought that the person sending him all of these presents was Haitani, and of course” he sniffed “My brother didn't denied a such good occasion to be well-positioned, the Takano's family is a big name you see”

Takano didn't know how to react, he wanted to embrace the man besides him, run at Haitani room and destroy everything until he would be reasoning calmly again, he wanted to make up for this feeling of treason. But he felt guilty too because he made Ritsu suffer. This Ritsu who wanted nothing more but to care for his well-being and never said anything when he had chosen Haitani instead of him.

After that, Ritsu fell dead asleep, tired of crying so much and hugging Takano's soft body. Masamune hated seeing him that miserable, he hated being helpless about Ritsu, he just wanted to embrace him against his chest and comfort him, kissing his pink and cute lips and dry his tears away, whispering that everything was okay, that he was here and that he will never leave him. Gritting his teeth, he looked at Ritsu, determined.

He wanted to be human again, he _ had _ to be human again.

* * *

He woke up from a loud rumble coming from his stomach. That's right, he hasn't eaten something since last night. He stretched his arms, half asleep. His irritated dry eyes were hurting him, yet he was feeling more lighter than he was before. Telling all he had on the heart to somebody, even an animal, was like having a weight taken off his shoulder. Saga was still lying next to him, awake. He draws his muzzle near to Ritsu face, rubbing his nose against his red spot under his eyes. “Thanks for listening me” He whispered, taking the wolf's head between his hands. He looked at the magnificent Saga's iris, he really loved this color, but he felt bad that they reminded him Takano.

“You must be hungry, I'm going to get you the best piece of beef we have in the castle” he caressed vividly Saga's fur, and took his leave. It was not dawn yet, but he knew that it was already too late for asking a complete meal. Through he hoped that if he begged good enough the cook, he would give him meat. He unconsciously put his hands in pockets, thinking of how he would ask beef.

He startled when he felt the touch of the cool golden collar in his pocket against his fingertips. Ah, _ I forgot about it... _He put out the jewel at the light, the golden color projecting on his face. He looked at the details of the arabesques printed on it. He still hasn't found the owner, and nobody asked for it. Look like it was going to be another mystery.

“Where did you get it?”

Ritsu jumped out of surprise, he turned toward the cold voice of Yokozawa, he heart beating fast “Si-sir Yokozawa, you scared me...”

“You didn't answer, where did you get that necklace” he repeated, this time, stronger, taking a menacing step toward the young Onodera. “I-I found it in the wells when I draw water around 2 weeks ago, it is yours?” he stuttered.

“Why would you need to get at the wells, there are maids in this castle who are payed for doing this.” he continued, clearly having doubts against Ritsu. “I had my reasons” he answered, defending as much as possible “Why, do you know the owner of this necklace? I would like to give them back”

“If I know the owner? If_ I _ know the _ owner _ you said!” He trapped violently Ritsu's body against the wall, hitting with his punch the spot next to his head. “It was Takano's, he was wearing it the night he disappeared”

_ Huh? _

“So, I really wonder why his necklace was in the wells when we all knew that the last time we saw him, it was in the forest...Now that I think about it, why did you absolutely wanted to go with us the night of Takano's disappearance? As far as I remember, you never ever talked to him.”

“Are you...assuming that I killed Takano” 

Ritsu was outraged, he couldn’t believe it himself even after saying it. How could somebody think that he would be able to harm Takano. He wanted to throw up.

“I just doing assumption but, you must be at your brother side right, and we both know that all he he felt for him was interest”

No, it was too much for him to handle in few time “I would never do this to Takano!” he snapped “You don't even know a half of what I did for him”

“The fuck, I spent all these years to find the real culprit to get him out of this hell, because I knew he was innocent, don't try me kid and tell me what happened to Takano” he gripped him violently by the collar, it should have been scary however, Ritsu was angrier than anything.

_ Ah fuck _ , he gritted his teeth, he didn't want to cry in front of this man, if only he could get out of this situation and being somewhere else where he would feel safe. The image of the wolf in his room who comforted him appeared 

“Hah! Sir Yokozaw-”

“Hey what's happening ?!”

“Is Yokozawa going to mess with all the Onodera?”

They both fixed at each other, because he biggest ticked and pull off Ritsu collar, and before heading toward the mass of people who surprised their altercation, he added “I will know what happened to Takano trust me...”

He stood silent, waiting for the man to be completely out of his sight. If Ritsu wasn’t in a miserable state where he spent his whole day crying like a baby against his wolf friend, weeping for a love that never came true and grieving for the man he always waited for, maybe he would have been able to retort that's likewise, he really despised what his brother have done to Takano, to the people around him.

Ritsu shook his head, chasing his brother out of his mind. _ Right, meat, Saga's need meat! _ Thinking that way, he headed to the kitchen, ignoring how people were looking at him because of their previous quarrel. Looked like rumor about what happened this morning with Haitani had spreader quickly throughout the castle. From their point of view, it was sure that he was taking his brother's side.

He stopped in front of the kitchen door. What if the cooker refused to give him beef because of what people were saying behind his back. But how was going to make Saga eat? He felt bad to have not offered him a meal after handling his pathetic self during the whole day. Yet, Ritsu feared that if the cook refused, he was sure he would have another breakdown. Damn that Yokozawa.

He was scared, but each time he thought of fleeing back in his room, the amber eyes of Saga came to his mind, reassuring him. He took a breath and opened the door.

The chef was in front of the fire, already cooking tonight meal. He turned over Ritsu “Ah, I was thinking I haven't saw you today yet” He happily said, his mustache wriggling “Here, you want the usual?” Emerald eyes were wide open of surprise by hearing the gentle voice of the man, he had expected disgust, meaningful glare, whispering, refusing, but this made his lost his breath “Ah...Yes please...” The cook smiled kindly and took a piece of beef which was hanging on the kitchenette and put it in the fire. Ritsu didn't understand why the chef was acting so nicely at him, he must have heard rumors or something. He was breathing again “Thank you...”

“It's okay young man, it's my job” _ yes, but still _, he couldn't help but being grateful the cooker TheKan. Now, he just had to ignore the stare of the outsiders and then, he will be able to hide in Saga's fur again.

He walked back to his room, he asked an apple for himself before taking the plate. Since a week ago, Saga refused to eat if Ritsu hadn't too. So, he took for himself a little something, but it was more for his wolf than himself. How ironic, that an animal had a better common sense than him, not that he really cared about it. All he wanted was to his furry friend be healthy. 

The hallway was empty so he didn't have to face the meaningful stare, however, when he arrived to the hallway leading to his room, something was wrong. His bedroom door was wide open.

In a moment, he was filled with dread, without thinking he ran as quick as possible to his room, looking into. He was not here. “Saga?” he looked quickly under his bed, in the closet, under his bureau but nothing. “Saga? Where are you”

he imagined a million of scenario in his mind, where Saga was killed by castle's guards scarred by seeing a wolf of his height. Other where he has been imprisoned, or where he simply did go back to the forest, tired of Ritsu. He swallowed before dashing back in the hallway, just quickly enough to saw a dark tail disappear into another bedroom, his Brother bedroom.

Desperate, he sprinted, wanting to defend him against Haitani. He was going to call him, almost at the door sill when he heard his brother screaming before he did “Masamune ?!”

_ Huh? _

Ritsu stopped, taking a look into the room. There were Saga, growling angrily at a Haitani against his wall. He didn't seem terrified, more surprised, as if he hasn't expected to see this. But most importantly, why did he just have called the wolf by Takano's name?

“Ah, you're looking for your collar? Sorry, I threw it away, it's better for all of us, right?” The wolf growled more deeper, as if ready to pounce the man at any moment. In the other way, Haitani smiled smugly. His expression changed in a blink when he saw his little brother standing in front of the room, looking at them.

“Ritsu! Help me! There is a wolf in there, quick call the guards!” but it was like talking to deaf ears. “Ritsu did you hear me! Ritsu!”

“Why did you call him by Takano's name...?” he whispered, looking at the wolf who turned his face to Ritsu. He knew that Saga -or Takano? Masamune? He didn't know anymore, always had expressive amber eyes, that kind of eyes that made him understand without a word that he needed to eat, that he liked when he was reading that book in particular. But right now, all Ritsu could saw in those beautiful eyes that made him painfully remember Takano's was remorse. But why? Why Saga was looking that guilty, the head down. Ritsu was scared to understand what was happening. He must be really crazy. And now, he was starting to get really annoyed, and repeat in a sore tone “Why did you call him by Takano's name?”

“Wha-what are you saying Ricchan, are you still asleep? Ha ha” he gritted his teeth, because he knew that when Haitani was having this false sweet tone and that little laugh was when he was lying. If he was really in danger, he would scream, insulting Ritsu that he should help him instead of staying still like an idiot.

“Stop lying, I heard you say his name! What is happening here, I don't understand at all, I...” Ritsu felt bad. The wolf, sensing his anxiety coming, approached the youngest Onodera, rubbing his muzzle against his palm. His eyes pleading him to breathe slowly, keeping him calm. He was comforting him again. Ritsu gulped, not believing what he was going to ask.

“Are...are you Takano?”

The wolf closed his eyelids and nodded reluctantly, as if it was making him hurt. Ritsu suppressed a sob, he wanted to run away, flee this castle and forget everything, forget the ten years he spent at looking for him without fail, forget all the time he had taken to choose the best book that could suit Takano’s taste, he wanted to forget his face, to forget his voice, forget the love he had for him. “Oh...god” He wasn't able to hold back a tear “I must have looked so stupid...”

Saga, _ no _ , Takano whined, looking sadly at him. Ritsu didn't know how he wanted to scream that he _ never ever _ looked stupid to him. And now he was gearing the idea that the young man would hate him, he was scarred because he knew he won't be able to recover from this. He desperately gripped Ritsu's sleeve with his teeth, shaking it brutally. He couldn't let Ritsu to think something like that could be the end of something that didn't even started yet. _ Please Ritsu, trust me, please _

And Ritsu _ looked _ at him. Not as the wolf who saved him, not as Saga, but as who he was really, Takano Masamune

“Ritsu listen to me” Haitani took his brother by the shoulder “He's a monster, he's not normal, he lied to us all, who know what he can do in this form, who know what are his motive? We need to put it to an end!” his nails were hurting Ritsu's shoulder, grabbing him so hard, but this pain biting into his skin was not able to divert Ritsu's attention on Takano. The way he looked so hurt by Haitani's toxic words made his blood boil.

“You're a piece of work” he slapped away his brother hand “you lied to everybody! Like you were able to take care of somebody during ten years when you won't even move to see you own family when they're injured. And now, you’re took profit of Takano's condition!”

Haitani stood still, confused. He never expected his submissive little brother to burn out like that, he thought he would understand his decision. But without knowing, he crossed the line when in a sweet sweet tone, he pointed Takano “But Ritsu, understand me, who would want a monster like this!”

“I do!” he cried out of reflex, surprising everybody in the room, himself first, not believing he actually confessed. He looked down to Takano before falling on his knees, taking his muzzle between his palms “...I do” he repeated, more softly, more shyly.

“You're crazy...” Haitani disgusted stepped back toward the window before opening it and screaming for the guards. Alerted, Ritsu wanted to run after Haitani to stop him, but Takano held him by the coat, holding it to prevent him to do something stupid.

“Please, stop, I need to help you!” he begged, but he didn't lose his grip, he even growled when Ritsu tried to get away. “If I don't do something, you will be imprisoned or worse”

But no matters how much Ritsu begged him to let go, he didn't. Ritsu was stubborn, even if he wanted to disappear minutes ago, he didn't want to lose Takano just after knowing he was still alive, even under this animal form.

As he heard the step of the running guards growing closer, Ritsu felt becoming more and more desperate. “Please...I don't want to lose you” he kneeled “Please...Takano...” he looked at him, pleading uselessly. He let go the cloth and rubbed his front against Ritsu's.

“I...I didn't even gave you yet this...” the picked out the shiny golden collar which was in his pocket “Yokozawa told me it was your...” Takano eyes widened, recognizing his precious collar. He straightens, presenting his neck, indicating Ritsu to put the golden collar around it. 

Haitani, who was looking at them since he called for the guards, stopped to smile in alert when he saw the same collar he threw up in the well “Ritsu, where did you get it?!” He said, rushing on them, but Ritsu was already putting the collar around Takano's neck. “Give it to me right now!” He cried out of anxiety, seeing the golden sliding slowly around the wolf. And already Takano had started to transform back into his real self, taking aback Ritsu who didn't understand what was happening and provoking a deep animal alike grow of frustration in Haitani's throat.

Ritsu was still under shook when a pair of arms pulled him against a strong chest. Stunned, he lifted his head toward the owner of the arms wrapped tightly around his body. Then, it hit him, the eyes were the shame of the wolf he had taken care of, but the smile and the emotion coming from the man he cherished for more than ten years was right before him. As far as he could remember, it was the first time their eye met under this form. It was like Ritsu forgot how to breath and that the world stopped.

True, he always dreamed to have Takano holding him and smiling at him that way, but the reality was much more embarrassing. His heart was beating too fast for his own good and he had to retain shivering so much that he hadn't noticed the guards breaking in the room, leading by Yokozawa and Takano's subordinates.

Haitani, for his part, tried to flee away when he saw Takano's original form back and raced out of his bedroom, he would have succeeded if it was not for Yokozawa who in a reactive way ordered the guards to caught him.

“You got the wrong person! Let me go”

“Yeah, of course” he muttered, rolling his eyes “I always knew there were something fishy around you” he added when his men took him away before turning toward his dead friend who were not dead at all and hugging naked his fiancé little brother who was looking at him love stuck as if there were no tomorrow.

“What are you doing here?”

“Chilling”

Oh damn, his nonchalant tone really annoyed him, he has been worried as hell during the last weeks because of the thought he had forever lose his best friend, and here he was, proud like a roaster “You bastard, we all thought you were dead!”

“Welp', I'm not, so it's okay” he said casually, holding Ritsu stronger since the later tried to get out of his grasp, maybe he realized that Takano was as naked as the day he was boy. He was completely red and stuttering nonsense. Yokozawa was ready to shout his exasperation at him when Kirishima's arm appeared to wrap around his neck “Anyway Lord Takano, since you're back, can you tell us what we are doing with your fiancé?”

“Ah...About it, I have another fiancé right now, so do whatever you want...”

“wha-”

“WHAT?”

Ritsu's blood freeze hearing this. After all they shared, Takano found a way to have a new fiancé, he wasn't even heartbroken, he was just annoyed. If Takano have been surprised by Ritsu outburst, he didn't let it show “Yeah? You?” he answered casually, because it was not a big deal, wasn't it?

“M-me?” oh no, Ritsu feel hot “But, what, when, how?” he agitated his arms, showing his incomprehension.

“What? It seems obvious, you love me, I love you so let jus-” Ritsu dashed his hand on Takano's mouth, praying for him to not say a word anymore, it was too embarrassing for him. How could he be that casual.

“Ah? Going for the youngest Onodera my lord” Said Kisa, with the sudden desire to tease them. This situation was too good to ignore. “I hope we haven’t arrived while you were in the middle of something ha ha”

Ritsu, remembering that he was held by a naked man. The lord of this land true, but still a naked man, blushed again, he pushed him a bit, clearly wanting to be somewhere else. While he was damming the god, Takano found it adorably funny how he discovered that humans were capable to red from white in a few seconds. 

“Damn, you can’t be serious?”

“I am”

“Are you picking a fight?”

“Ta-Takano! This is not something you should decide by yourself!” Shouted Ritsu, before being flustered by having the attention of everybody. He was not used to it, he always has been the shadow of Haitani, so now that it was his moment to shine, he didn’t know what to do. “I-I mean, you just came back to us and, maybe it’s a little quick and we should think a bit about it? It’s not that I don’t want to being yo- your lover, actually I always dreamed to be your, I can’t believe it, and so much stuff happened, and I, I-”

Okay, that was too cute for Takano. I couldn’t refrain himself to embracing him on more time, smiling and kissing the top of his head, making his cute man to scream from the sudden affection that he was not used to receive. Did he even know that Takano was not used to give it. He was hiding his face in the crook of his neck, whispering to not do that in public. But he couldn’t care less, he was too happy to be with the one who saved him three time, the one he loved. 

“…What about Haitani” asked Hatori, only to be left ignored.

* * *

It was that time of the month again. The one where his golden collar would burn him skin and the full moon would rise high in the starry sky. Before, he would have hated this moment, but now, since Ritsu was here holding his hand while they walked in the path of the forest, it became bearable, if not unlikable. 

Long short story. After the mess caused by Haitani, Takano took the governance of his land once again, starting by coming to his own funeral to explain that, no he didn’t die. Thought, with Ritsu, they had to find an excuse about the disappearance. 

And about Haitani, even though Ritsu wanted to have his revenge, he still felt bad to imagine the worst for his big brother, then, Takano just decided to exiled him forever from his territory. The alliance that Takano’s family had with Onodera would have been broken if it was not for Ritsu existence. 

Well, of course, after a long discussion -mainly senseless complain, Ritsu accepted to be Takano’s new fiancé at the condition they learn about each other some more before doing something, even though it seemed meaningless for Takano since he already saw his loved-one ore private place and knew his biggest secrets, and even what was going on inside his little, cute, adorable, cherished, head. And that Ritsu accepted him even if he was changing into an animal every moonlight and that he was a beautiful, arrogant dork. Well, Takano knew it was only because Ritsu was very embarrassed by the speed of events. Not that he could blame him, but his reactions were too cute to not tease him.

If Takano have to be honest, at the dawn of their new relationship, he was scared that once he took the time to know Takano’s character, he would grow disappointed. But on the contrary, it looked like that as Ritsu grew comfortable with him, he started to give comeback at every dumb thing Takano was saying. It was lovable and he couldn’t get enough of him, but Ritsu was hard to get lovey-dovey. Well, good thing that Takano loved challenge, right?

And now, here they were, at their 6th month of relationship, and both of them never felt so happy in their life. It felt really good that Takano doesn’t need to hide his secret to his lover. Ritsu always have been comprehensive, after, he learnt to know Takano under his wolf form before his human one. And so, each time the moon was full and his lover had to flee in the forest, Ritsu, faithful to himself followed him. 

At first, Takano refused Ritsu to accompanied him, but he learned very quickly that they both have a lot of thing in common, starting by both being stubborn. So, when in the darkness of the night, he noticed Ritsu following him, he couldn’t help but give up. However, he couldn’t help but feel insecure, it was probably due to Haitani fault. After all, he abused of his trust. But when Ritsu looked at him with his eyes full of love, he had to let the young man do as he wanted. 

Since then, they were always going together in the forest, holding their hands, when Takano had to remove his collar. This time, he decided to go near of a big pound, this place was during the summer night always full of fireflies, and Ritsu would be able to see something in the darkness as he forgot to take his torch with him. Takano knew he could trust Ritsu knowledge about the forest, but he was too anxious to let him without light. 

“Not being that way, you know we won’t be separated, so stop complaining!”

“It annoys me, it annoys me, it annoys me” 

“Jesus, not need to repeat it three times”

“it annoys me”

He kicked him a bit in the rib with his elbow. Enough to show that he was upset with him bitching around, but not enough to hurt him. It made release a laugh in Takano’s throat. He would like to tell him he was adorable, but he was sure his Ritsu would kick him again, not that he minded. Anything to get lovey-dovey. But the burnt coming from the collar was starting to really hurt him and he had to get them go quicker to the pound. Ritsu noticed it by the hitched breath that his lover was exhaling. 

“Are you okay? Maybe you should remove it now if it hurt too much…”

“No” he cut him, interlacing their fingers “we are almost there, I can handle it”

Takano heard Ritsu whispering a soft ‘don’t hurt yourself…’ that made his heart melt from the warm love he was receiving from his cute lover. He pulled him and they accelerated, he just wanted to show him how beautiful this place was and saw his eyes sparkling. 

“Is it here?” Ritsu asked in a breath. And it was just as Takano imagined, the light coming from firefly were reflecting in his emerald eyes, they were shining like the starry sky mirrored in the water. Takano couldn’t retrain a smile full of adoration. They were in their bubble, not even the full yellow moon in the background nor the sound of wind in trees would burst it.

Takano laid his hand on the side of Ritsu’s head, caressing his cheekbone. Daring a bold move, he kissed the top of his face. Ritsu let out a soft chuckle of joy, so he kissed his other cheek, provoking for both a louder laugh. Ritsu wrap shyly his arms around his waist and they caressed their noses with each other.

They looked at each other before getting even closer and sharing a sweet sweet kiss. They embraced more harder against the other, just sharing their warmth, love, happiness. They continued until they were out of breath. Takano did a quick peck on his lips before breaking out their embrace, reaching for his nape. 

“Can you take care of it?” he asked, starting to remove his collar. 

“Forever” he answered, still red and out of breath from the kisses. Takano nodded and put the golden collar around his lover neck, the place where he knew this collar was the safest. 

Ritsu stepped back, letting Takano having the place he needed to transform into, in Ritsu opinion, the most majestic animal. Takano stretched his muscles and stepped toward Ritsu before bending his head. Ritsu petted the animal before climbing on him. Takano did some steps before running into the forest, Ritsu riding him. Tomorrow was going to be another day they would share together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. This fiction have been a mess. Thank you for sticking all along.


End file.
